


To Love and Have Lost

by DrWho_MD



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-09-20 23:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17031873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrWho_MD/pseuds/DrWho_MD
Summary: Marinette was not Paris' original Ladybug, her sister was. When Emma dies in surgery to save her baby sister's life, Marinette must become the next Ladybug and protect Paris alongside a heartbroken Chat Noir.This is the dead sister au from Tumblr's kittieslovekaties





	1. Prologue

“Where are you going, my lady?” Chat Noir asked his partner. “You have plenty of time before you detransform.” They had finished off the akuma seconds after Lucky Charm and they didn’t even need Cataclysm at all. The victim was fine and ended up being purified right next to his office. They had plenty of time. He jumped after her onto a roof.

Ladybug smiled. “I have a previous engagement and I’m quite late. I wasn’t expecting an akuma today.” She looked down at the ground. “Hey, Chat?”

“You okay, Bugaboo?” She looked so vulnerable right now.

She took a deep breath and forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just really really need a few days off. Any chance you could handle the city without me for a bit? Just put the akumas in jars if anything happens. I’ll call you and we’ll meet up at the Notre Dame.” She reached out and touched her partner’s cheek. “I absolutely trust you to be fine. You are Paris’ hero just as much as I am. Not my sidekick. My hero. I love you.” 

Chat Noir’s heart kicked up a million beats. “Ladybug,what’s going on?” They were usually so easy going with the statements of affection but this felt different.

She sighed and smiled for real this time. “As a friend, obviously. Don’t get any ideas, Kitty-cat. You’re like my little sister’s age. And I already said that I’m totally fine, Chaton. I just don’t feel like I say it enough. I love you. You are the little brother I never had and I love you so much. So take care of the city for me, okay? I’ll be back before you know it.”

He grabbed her hand, stopping her from leaving. “Ladybug, tell me what is going on. You’re scaring me. Do you need help? Is it Papillon?” 

“Do not worry. Everything is okay. In fact, things are hopefully going to be a lot better after today. When I see you on Friday, I’m gonna bring your favorite macaroons, kay? We’ll have a picnic on the roof near the Dupain bakery. Trust me?” 

“Always,” he said. “Promise this sinking feeling of fear is just over-dramatic anxiety?”

“Since when are you not overdramatic, my dear?” She kissed his cheek and swung off in the direction of the hospital. 

 

Ladybug swung into an open hospital window and into the empty stairway to detransform.

“I wish you would stop acting like you’re going to die, Emma” Tikki said as soon as she manifested. “You’re just donating a kidney. The mortality rate is 0.03%. You really expect   
Lady Luck to be one of three in ten thousand?”

Somehow that had the opposite effect and it just made Emma angry. “How likely is it that my baby sister would be dying from kidney failure at fifteen, huh? How likely is it that despite being at the top of the list for over a year, a compatible kidney has never come? How likely is all that, Tikki?” Emma’s face felt hot and tears started to spill. 

Tikki sighed. She knew that Emma was terrified. She knew that Emma would never forgive herself for hoping and praying every day that some O-neg guy would be brain dead from a motorcycle accident. “I know. I know. I’m just trying to tell you what you told Chat, that you’re going to wake up after surgery and both you and Marinette are going to be healthy and fine and all will be well. And I know you were just putting on a face but I am not. You will be okay, Emma.”

The nineteen year old girl pulled out a drawing of Ladybug that Marinette made. “This is what Mari always said I should look like. Make sure her costume looks like this. She complains just about every day that Ladybug looks like she’s wearing PJs.”

Tikki hugged her. “While I disagree that you need to be making these arrangements because you will be fine, I’m proud of you for being mature enough to do an advanced directive just in case. You told your parents to not let Marinette open it unless she was 100% alone, right?”

Emma exhaled, amused. “Of course I did. I even wrote it down in case emotion clouds their memories. You’re sure Master Fu will be okay with me choosing the next Ladybug?”

Tikki crossed her arms. “Master Fu is with me that you’ll wake up tomorrow embarrassed that you wrote up a will, but yes, he thinks your judgement is wise.”

Emma scrunched up her face. “You know, I can understand you guys making fun of me for being actually scared but you know that Mari wouldn’t have made her AD and Living Will if her big sis didn’t. Y’all can’t tease me about that.”

“Yes, yes, yes. I agree both of those need to be less stigmatized. You did a good thing. Blah blah blah. You didn’t need to include me in there though. Now hurry up and dry your face. You’re needed for pre-op in an hour and you should get some extra family time in since you’re so worried about dying from a simple surgery.” Emma laughed. “Now go!”

“Thanks, Tikki. I love you.”

“I love you too. Now stop telling people you’re gonna die.”

 

Marinette woke up with her parents next to her. Her stomach hurt but considering she had just been sliced open, she supposed it didn’t hurt too much. She couldn’t wait to see Emma. Marinette had been so scared she was going to die on the table. Emma made fun of her so much for that but was still always so comforting. Yesterday, when Marinette was stupidly crying about how she’d look in her coffin, Emma painted their faces to look like zombies. “See? Still beautiful,” her sister had told her. They were also going to get Emma a tattoo next month of a kidney where hers used to be and, in a year or so when Mari would be able to get tattoos, get one where her third kidney now lied.

Mari coughed so her parents would see that she woke up. Wow, coughing hurt like hell. Note to self: Don’t do that again. “Did the surgery work?” she asked half joking because of course it did. It had to have. Otherwise there would be a lot more people in that room. “Do I have a working kidney, Père?” Her father was sobbing. “Oh no.... what happened? Am I still dying? How much time do I have? Mère?!” 

Her mother squeezed her hand. “Your surgery was a success, baby. You’re going to live a very long life.” 

“Then why is Dad-” Marinette started hyperventilating. “Where’s Emma? Where is my sister?!”

****************************************************************************************************


	2. Meeting Tikki

Marinette was given the go-ahead to leave the hospital five days after her surgery, three days after her beloved sister never woke up from surgery. The fifteen-year-old could have gone home sooner but they kept her longer to make sure she didn’t kill herself or something, as if that could somehow bring Emma back. Mari tried to say she would never waste the kidney her sister gave her life to give her, but the nurses and doctors were erring on the side of caution anyway. Because of the increased risk for infection, she was not allowed to go to school or leave the house for a few more weeks. Not only that, but her parents (and many parents) were too worried to let her go out when Ladybug seemed to be missing. Poor Chat Noir was handling akumas by himself and, without Ladybug’s powers, there was no magic reset to fix Paris. Construction workers and firemen were at their busiest. Mari almost found it funny that as soon as her world became a dark, chaotic place, so did the rest of the world.

Mari looked to the red and black Chinese box her parents had given her. Apparently, it was Emma’s final request before surgery that if anything happened to her, that Marinette be given this box and to open it alone. There had been plenty of opportunity inside the hospital but she just could not bring herself to open it, not until she had gotten home and saw her empty room with one, not two, beds. She thought about throwing the box at the wall. She thought about stomping on it. It hurt to look at it. It hurt to know that Emma expected to die and her only thought was this damn box. 

But Marinette didn’t do either of those things. Emma wouldn’t want her to. She opened the box. A bright pink light erupted from it. A small, reddish pink stuffed-animal-looking thing emerged. It was covered in black spots, like a ladybug, but it did not look like an insect at all. It looked sort of like a small Mew pokemon with a giant head with two, thin antennae on top of it. Instead of the long, Mew tail, it had three small tufts. It looked weird enough but then it opened its mouth. “Emma?!”

Marinette jumped back. What the actual fuck is that?

The alien thing looked around and appeared sad, almost like it was about to cry. “You’re… Marinette. Emma didn’t make it?”

“What the hell are you and how do you know my sister?”

“I am a kwami. It’s kind of like a god. Whenever there is a new concept to the world, a kwami is born. I am the oldest, the kwami of creation. Long ago, the kwamis were trapped inside special metals, called Miraculouses. Since then we have served our chosen masters and helped them become superheroes. Ladybug, your sister, was my chosen. Since you are in possession of me, I take it that she has passed. My name is Tikki. Emma told me that if she were to die, she wanted you to be the next Ladybug.”

Marinette tried to speak but honestly nothing but incomprehensible babbles came out. My sister was Ladybug? Her sister wanted her to be Ladybug? Gods that look like pokemon exist? And one is in my room?? Telling me that I am supposed to be a superhero??? Am I dead? Is this a hallucination? I know I’m on pain pills but it’s just 800mg of Ibuprofen. That doesn’t cause hallucinations! Or does it? Nonononono. Am I rejecting my kidney? What is going on?!

“Marinette! I need you to calm down. This is not a hallucination. I am real. Emma was Ladybug. She died. You are the new Ladybug. She had all the faith in the world in you and so do I. Put on the earrings and claim your power. It was literally her dying wish. Please just do it quickly. I can’t manifest out in the world without someone wearing the Miraculous for very long. I will explain more once you put the earrings on.” Speechless, Marinette did so. 

Tikki sighed with relief. “I’m sorry if I sounded harsh. I’m having a rough time with all this. I’ve never had a chosen so young and I’m usually given time to grieve before receiving a new one.” Tikki looked at Marinette, who was now crying as she fingered her sister’s earrings. “She loved you so much, you know?” 

The black-haired teenager nodded, her grey eyes swimming with tears. “I know,” she said, wiping her tears. “I just- I wish she didn't have to die for me. It’s not fair. And now Paris is a disaster zone without her.”

Tikki straightened. “Paris is what?! How long have I been in that box? Is there an akuma right now?” 

“No,” Mari said. “But in general. It’s been a week and Chat Noir is doing his best against the akumas, but without Ladybug, there’s no magical reset.”

Tikki smiled. “Well we can fix that right now. Chat Noir has all the akumas in jars, right? Or he should. All you have to do is purify them and I can fix the city. I couldn’t have asked for a better trial run! This is so much better for your first transformation than an actual akuma attack. You can get used to everything without being in actual danger.”

Marinette dried her tears. “I can really save the city?” she asked tentatively.

Tikki caressed Marinette’s cheek. “You can and you will do a great job. I’ll you exactly what to do.”

****************************************************************************************************


	3. Giving Chat the Bad News

****************************************************************************************************

Chat Noir was pacing restlessly, waiting for Ladybug to show up. She had called earlier and told him to meet her where he was storing the akuma jars. Where the hell had she been this whole time? What was she doing? 

The questions swirled in his mind, but the blonde, leather-clad superhero reminded himself that all his questions were about to be answered. The meeting place was one of the towers of the Notre Dame cathedral. It was secluded in the church tower and he knew that the priests there would never succumb to Papillon, so it was the safest place he could think to store the butterfly jars without having to resort to the sewers or something. It was surprisingly nice up there, Chat thought, which was why they agreed on this place for when they needed more privacy than a rooftop. So there he paced like Quasimodo, and tried to think of other things.

Just as Chat Noir was hitting the high note of Out There, Ladybug swooped in. 

“Out there,” his partner sang. “Strolling by the Seine. Taste a morning out there. Like ordinary men, who freely walk-”

“Ladybug!” Chat shouted. He ran up to hug her but stopped short when he saw her new costume. “Ladybug?”

The girl looked a lot like Ladybug. Same black hair. Same blue eyes. Same face. But her body was overall smaller. Not that Chat regularly stared at Ladybug’s body, but this girl had smaller breasts and hips, less muscle mass. She was incredibly skinny and petite whereas his partner was athletic and strong. His Ladybug also wore her hair in a long braid. This girl had pigtails that just touched her shoulders. The bodysuit, instead of being all red and black polka dots, was completely black on her legs, making the red and polka dot parts look like a long sleeve shirt and boots. Her neckline (still black up to her chin like before) now had a deep scoop (approximately ten centimeters below the clavicle), almost Bardot neckline, with the red starting at the edge of her shoulders. The red and dotted area encompassed her entire torso, arms, hands, and fingers. At her hips, the red area ends in a Basque waistline. From there, it is all black until her mid-calves, which is just the same material but in red with the black polka dots.

“Who are you?” Chat demanded.

“I’m Ladybug,” the stranger said. “The, uh, new Ladybug.”

Chat stepped back. “What? How? What happened to the old Ladybug?”

The girl seemed to choke up. “She died. It was her dying wish that I become the next Ladybug and help you protect Paris.”

“This isn’t a very funny joke,” Chat said, laughing nervously. “Like seriously, that’s a really fucked up joke.”

The little Ladybug just shook her head slowly. “I- I’m not joking. I’m so sorry…”

“No!” Chat shouted and started pacing angrily. “Lies! You’re an akuma! A liar! Ladybug isn’t- Ladybug can’t be-”

“I’m not lying!” the girl yelled back. “And I have way more reason to want me to be lying right now than you,” she said softly. “She’s dead. There isn’t even anything more I can say on the subject. She’s just… dead. And it’s not a joke. It’s not a lie and it’s not a joke and it’s so painfully real. She died and she’s never coming back and Paris lost its hero and you lost your partner and I lost my… Look, I’m all you’ve got now. I know you two must’ve been close...”

Chat was now sitting on the floor, holding his knees. “Was it Papillon? Did I fail her somehow?”

The girl walked over and put her hand on Chat’s shoulder. “No. There’s nothing anybody could have done. There’s nobody to blame. I wish I had somebody I could blame. I wish it was Papillon and I could exact revenge. But I can’t. She’s dead and there’s nothing to do but move on.”

“Fuck… Fuck! This isn’t fair! How could she- How could- Why- What? I- Fuck! There’s no? I- She- Fuck. I can’t-” Chat was hyperventilating now and openly sobbing. “Why? Why did this happen? How did this happen? What force in the universe thought that this was a good idea? She can’t be… How did this happen?”

The mystery girl sat down next to Chat as he continued to spill out half finished questions, rubbing his back, running her fingers through his hair, whatever she could do to be at least somewhat comforting. “I can’t tell you how she died. That would compromise her identity and mine. I can tell you that she was a hero. She died saving my life. I can tell you that absolutely nothing could have prevented it. The doctors did their jobs perfectly. It was just… fate. No Papillon. No akuma. No medical error. She just didn’t make it.”

“And who are you?” Chat asked. “You look exactly like her.”

The girl swallowed and took a deep breath. “She was family. I don’t want to give you any extra details in case you go looking up obituaries. I can tell you that we could not have been closer had we been twins. I loved her with every breath I breathed. I thought we had no secrets until I found out about the Ladybug thing. But I like to think that that was her only secret.”

“I take it then that’s I’m meeting the beloved baby sister she would always talk about.”

The Little Ladybug gasped. “She talked about me? But her identity!”

“Do you know how many Parisians have at least two daughters?” Chat said wistfully. “That’s what she said to me at least, whenever I would try guessing her identity. By all means, go on being secretive. I never liked the secret identity thing anyway so I don’t care either way. I want to lie right now and say I know everything so that you spill but, to be honest, that’s the only thing she ever revealed about her personal life. That and being older than I am. She just loved you that much that she needed to express at least once a day how much she thought we would get along.” 

Chat turned his head and looked the petite coccinelle in the eyes for several long seconds. “Come here,” he said and pulled her into a hug. He meant the gesture to comfort her but he ended up sobbing violently into her shoulder for what felt like hours.

“I’m sorry about that,” he said, drying his eyes.

“Don’t be,” Little Ladybug said. “I know you two were close.”

He sniffed. “She was my very best friend.”

The babybug hugged him tightly. “Mine too.”

“If it’s not too much,” Chat began. “If it doesn’t reveal too much of your identities, what can I call her? We need to pretend that this is just a costume change, which means I need to call you Ladybug. So what do I call the old Ladybug?”

La petite coccinelle thought for a minute. “Bridgette. Every time she had a story, she would name the heroine Bridgette.”

“Well now that my old partner is Bridgette, I can call my new partner Ladybug and only feel a little weird about it, instead of a lot weird.”

Ladybug laughed. “As long as it’s not a lot weird. A lot weird is a little too weird for my tastes.”

“Exactly,” the cat said, grinning. “We are a team of moderate weirdness only. It’s in the bylaws.”

She held up her hand for a high five. “And speaking of teamwork, let’s take care of these akumas, shall we?” 

Chat grabbed her hand and spun her around with it. “We shall, my Lady.”

****************************************************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to write. One of my good friends died two years ago during Hurricane Matthew. He was being an idiot and decided to drive home to Florida instead of staying put he decided to make the drive south and died less than 10 miles from his destination. My husband and I got the news first from his commander. It took about 10 minutes for the message to get through our heads. We were laughing (laughing! can you believe?), thinking it was a sick prank. Chat's broken dialogue was almost word for word my own words from that night (but going on for almost 20 minutes and with even more expletives). Other friends were already on their way over for a party and we had the not-so-fun honor of giving the guy's BFF the news. 
> 
> Tl:dr, this was very hard to write. I'm not the best writer but I hope the realism shines through.


	4. Welcome Back, Marinette

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng is coming back to class today. I know you’re very excited to see her but remember to keep hugs at a minimum. She has to take medicine that lowers her immune system so that she does not reject her kidney so no hugging unless she says it’s okay, alright?”

“Yes, Mdme Bustier,” the class said in unison. 

The teacher cleared her throat. “Another thing I need you all to know is that the living donor died in surgery. The living donor was her sister. You’ve probably seen Emma around at the bakery or picking up Marinette. I know many of you attended the funeral already,” she said somberly, looking at Alya, Mylene, Nino, Alix, Rose, and Kim. “As Marinette’s friends, I expect you to be courteous and not ask her any questions that will bring up painful thoughts. Let’s just pretend that today is a normal day.”

Rose raised her hand. “What about the ‘Welcome Back’ party? We all brought pot luck and a cake.”

Madame Bustier smiled at her kind students. “That will be fine. Just remember to be sensitive and aware of the words you say, okay? She is also on strict orders of low activity. 

Would anyone like to volunteer to carry her books around?”

Everyone raised their hands.

“Chloe??” Alix gasped.

Chloe flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder. “What? I’m a bitch but I’m not a monster. This is why I don’t like you people.”

“Adrien, thank you for volunteering,” Madame Bustier said, picking on the fair boy jumping out of his seat raising his hand. Nino and Alya high fived him.

“Nice job securing your place at Marinette’s side for the next few weeks,” Nino said, nudging him.

“Yeah,” Alya laughed. “Now Nino and I can have a date alone instead of inviting you two dorks all the time.”

Adrien looked down. “I never asked you guys to do that so you can’t complain.”

Alya pushed his shoulder. “You don’t need to ask, Babe. You’re gonna climb outta the friendzone someday and I want to be there to see my ship sail!”

“Same,” Nino said. “Look, there she is,” he pointed out as Marinette walked into the room. “Act casual, Adrien!”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “Can you guys stop? I am not that- mmmMMarinette! Hi! How are you feeling? Probably bad. Sorry for asking. Mdme Bustier assigned me to carry your books around. Would you find that- I mean- would it, Is that good with you?” Alya didn’t even try to hide handing Nino a $5.” 

“That’s really nice of you, Adrien,” Marinette said and gave him a careful half-hug. “Thank you so much! I’ll make sure to reward your efforts with some macaroons, later.” 

“You know,” Alya said, getting up from her seat and standing next to Adrien. “If you’re going to be carrying Mari’s books around everywhere, you should be sitting next to her.” She pulled Adrien up out of his seat by his arm. “Makes sense, no?” She winked at him. 

“Are you sure?” Marinette asked her best friend. “I don’t want to impose on you or Adrien or Nino.” 

Alya’s laughter was booming. “I do not mind getting to sit next to my boyfriend during class and I’m sure Adrien won’t mind too much either.” 

“Unless you don’t want to,” Nino said, not wanting her to think Alya was ditching her for him. “We’re ambivalent, really. It was just an idea to help you with your stuff.” 

Marinette smiled. “I always wanted to sit up front. This could be a fun switch up. I’m in.” 

Adrien’s heart was thumping wildly as he helped move Nino’s stuff to the desk behind him. He was still in shock that he would be sitting a mere six inches away from the love of his life. 

“Marinette!” Mylene exclaimed. All at once, there was a chorus of her name as the class rushed her, giving her high fives and cautiously gentle hugs. 

Even Chloe seemed happy to see her. “I’m glad you’re well, Dupain-Cheng,” the blonde said flatly and handed her a chocolate bar before walking quickly back to her desk and sitting down. 

“Thanks, guys. You have no idea how happy I am to be back.” 

“How does it feel to pee again, squirt?” Kim said and gave her a light noogie. 

She laughed. “Weird? It’s been like 5 years. I forgot what peeing felt like. I gotta say, I’m not too impressed. I had higher expectations.” 

“Lemme see your stomach!” Alix squealed. 

Juleka bopped her on the head. “You can’t just ask people lift their shirts, Alix!” 

Rose, wide eyed, clasped her hands together as if in prayer. “Please can we see your stomach, Marinette?” 

Juleka gasped. “Rose! Not you too!” 

Mdme Bustier clapped her hands to get the class’s attention. “I take it we’re not going to be focusing very much on Shakespeare today so how about first hour is dedicated to the Welcome Back party and we all promise to use lunch time to study?” 

“Thank you, Mdme Bustier!” the students said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a little bit of time. I'd make it longer before posting but idk when I'll have time and motivation to write again so I thought why not, you know? Anyways, sorry I took so long.


End file.
